" voicemails I would’ve left you if I hadn’t choked on my words (via extrasad)
Drive to my house in the middle of the night like we never broke each other’s hearts.
You made me so fragile. I used to smile through the pain but since you left even raindrops burn through my skin. Everything hurts now. I’m trying to hold myself up but it’s like you took my bones along with our fucking record player.
I quit smoking. I thought I could fill my lungs with smoke instead of you but I just cough a lot and all my clothes smell like smoke. I miss the way they used to smell like you. I miss you.
I thought I saw you last night and I almost threw up but you’re asleep somewhere in Texas and I’m stuck in Jersey trying to find less life threatening ways to miss your voice.
My best friend got mad and told me I was too cold and tired to love and I heard my bones break because I still remember the night you said the same thing to me.
I thought I was over you but the boy I fell asleep on the phone with me asked me why I kept saying your name in my sleep.
I wanted to hear your voice but I forgot the way it wraps around my heart and tightens till I pass out. I shouldn’t have called. I’ll probably call again tomorrow. Sorry.
How did you stop missing me so fast? I need to figure out how to get you out of my head. Nothing works. I’m fucked. I love you.
"He will brush against your thigh and pretend that he didn’t, and he’ll look you in the eyes and tell you he likes them. He will take the band out of your ponytail because he likes your hair long, he will let you listen to his favourite song and it will get stuck in your head. He will kiss your lips until they are numb and he will hold your hands until they go numb too. Don’t watch the sunset with him, because you won’t be able to watch it again without missing the smell of his cologne. Don’t make him call you by your nickname, because afterwards you won’t be able to hear it. Your heart will be heavy and so will your head but just remember you were beautiful before he said so." some advice i gave to a friend (via failvrebydesign)
(Source: desc-end, via i-loved-you-so)
"When you left, I need you to understand that I’m not blaming you, but when you left I was very numb for a while. I remember that I slept well that night. It took a couple of days for me to realize that we were done. When it hit, it felt like how I’d imagined it’d feel to swallow razor blades. I’d spent many times with them pinched between my thumb and index finger. I remember that I couldn’t tell you that I relapsed because you’d blame yourself. I cried a lot. It wasn’t your fault. For a while your name was triggering to me. I think the worst part was that I knew I couldn’t hate you. I wanted to be mad at you, I tried for a while. It’s been a year and I’m okay now. I miss you, but I’m not crying anymore." A letter to the boy who broke my heart at sixteen, v.m. (via anxius)